Island feverish

Sometimes I feel as though I am going a bit crazy out here in Hawaii.  I mean I am on an island in the middle of the Pacific, and the biggest "town" on this island is just 40,000 people.  And I've been here for years at this point.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I am a Nature Girl but I absolutely crave city life at times also.  And a town of 40k, most of those people not even living here long term...there's just nothing going on.  I'm just feeling so isolated all the time.  I've made some very great friends out here on the island, most of which have moved away.  It's just hard to live here long-term.  It just is.   People on the mainland who have never experienced island life act like I am crazy for wanting to leave here too.  But COME ON...the biggest thing I have to look forward to out here is going to the beach.  I've been to the beach...many many times.   I'm just like...ready for more.  I like having "events" to look forward to.  It helps keep me motivated in life.  It's easy to not feel motivated to "do" much out here.  I guess that's the laid-back-ness of the Hawaiian lifestyle for you.  But it's kind of driving me batty...

I was even fantasizing about New York City the other day, how it seems so stimulating and alive, so busy and energetic.  That sounds awesome to me right now.   I'm a bit of an 'experience junkie,' in that I need constant new experiences to feel satisfied.  Even as a mom I'm the same way.  I want constant new experiences for my kids too.  I want to take them to renaissance festivals and music festivals and museums and stuff like that.   I want to do a road trip with them, and I don't want it to go in a circle.  you know...just stuff I can't do here.  I want them to have consistent, long-term friends and more social stability then we currently have on the island...

I don't know.  Some nights I really friggen struggle with bad lonely and isolated feelings.  Especially since I've become a mom for the second time, these feelings of loneliness feel so extreme....

It makes me wonder if I should join FB again...to give myself the illusion of sociability that everyone else in the world subscribes to.  It's fake though.  I figured that one out.  There is nothing social about being on your computer staring into a screen.  Sorry.  I don't buy it.  Just because people can read your words and reply to them via the internet, does not make it a social experience by any stretch of the imagination.  Because you are still alone, staring into your computer screen.