I, Mother

I'm exploring a character's dark side.  Paetreyl.  I have to do it.   He gets pretty freaking evil at a few points.  But it's very exciting and I gotta say...I know this part of him pretty well.   He's basically a good soul who has gone astray.   But redemption is possible for everybody.  I TRULY believe that.

I'm pretty sure Velkess is related to Prem in some way also.   It's the logical conclusion their mutual energy fields result in.   Maybe a long-lost relative, or he just "planted" himself inside of her somehow.  

You see lately, I have just been attempting to get organized.  The players are taking their positions and we are just going to roll with it.   Believe it or not this blog is going to help me stay organized.    And there are certain things I just want to get into, talk about, vocalize.

So I've written about 2000 words since 3 days ago.  That's pretty good I guess...better then nothing.   It's SOMETHING.  A new chapter, in a new timeline.  And it's something I think I will be able to use.   My novel-writing process is so chaotic, but I think I can see SOMETHING beginning to form, through the dust.  

I'm channeling a lot of energy into it right now.   In between being a mom, house chores, socializing.   I'm just sort of zeroing in and allowing it to happen.  I'm making space for it.  Like when Eros takes the baby in the morning and I have about 2-3 hours to do whatever I want...whether that's exercise, writing or sleeping.    So there is that time to make use of, and that's a great thing.  Then there's the evening time...I'm usually so tired by then I just relax and eat (don't get much time to eat during the day) or I spend a bit of time writing.  I'm just returning to it more and more.  My days feel so full I feel like I'm getting cosmic downloads a lot faster.

So making better use of my time is paramount.  It's KEY.

The writing is sort of essential for my sanity.  BIG TIME.

That's the way it's always been, but lately it seems more significant then ever to express myself and seek completion through writing.  I can't explain it.  Maybe it's the baby's presence.  He is helping me get organized.   He does have the Cross of Planning, in his Human Design chart.  I think he is psychically teaching me something about getting together.  God, I love that little guy!

Speaking of the baby, he is at the stage where he REALLY seems to enjoy music.    It's pretty awesome to see him enjoying it so much. . He loves beautiful sounds.   He's getting to be SO cute.  5 months old this week.  

At this point I feel as though I'm living two different lives.   I have my writer's world where nothing is taboo to write and let loose about, and then my motherly world, where I am careful about everything I do or say in front of the baby.   Believe it or not this actually works out to my benefit.  I like having this rich writers world hidden underneath the surface of my mothering.  It feels really exciting...like I feel like the SUCTION to the Otherworld is stronger this way.