Sometimes it's not about talent. In fact, I'd say that very very few people in life get where they want to be creatively by talent alone. It's about BEING CONSISTENT and determined and not giving up.
I want to get real and think about my personal goals for every day for a moment, things that I want to do because they make me feel positive, powerful and pretty. It's important to me that I am healthy, happy and fulfilled in life, because that's what makes me a better mother.
There are a few goals I would like to accomplish every night, if my children allow me too:
1.) an hour of exercise. This is pretty important to me. I feel like I need to remain physically fit and able for anything else to be optimal. Right now at 5 weeks post partum, I do an hour or so of power walking and usually do about 3.5 miles at an incline and burn 500 calories. It's good enough for now, as my pelvic floor is still healing. I work up a serious sweat every time.
2.) a half hour of meditation. This is crucial for my spiritual path and to develop more mind and thought control, as well as cultivate the clarity of inner vision. I think it's possible to tap into some truly amazing creative insights while meditating. But more then that, I want to really get good at visualizing my intention for magic to work in my life. I want to keep activating and expanding the range of my 3rd Eye.
3.) two hours of novel work. That would be the minimum. This could be the tallest order yet, especially while I have a newborn who is enjoying more wakeful periods lately. What I've been doing lately is writing while doing my power walk on the treadmill. That works and helps me get ideas down at least, and a little more is done each night. Steady as she goes. But I want to have a solid chunk of time sitting down to lose myself in the work. And I am getting there. There is a routine forming.
Developing a solid ROUTINE is the lifesblood of my existence right now...and especially helpful with a toddler and a baby. If the toddler knows what to expect next, life is so much easier. Of course you need to leave room for spontaneity (part of the routine is getting out everyday for us, to a cool place for fun) but overall, a schedule helps my toddler feel secure. The routine we had pre-baby was blown to smithereens when the baby arrived. But our family does so well with a little naturally formed structure that we have swiftly developed into a new routine. I can FEEL order arising from the chaos, and it feels good. Routine and structure allows for CONSISTENCY in our lives...which allows me to get stuff done and meet personal goals, as a mother and as my own person.
So far I've been very uncompromising towards getting exercise in. My partner is home at night so after Caspian is in bed and Seraphina fed well, I can give her to him to watch over while I do my workout on the treadmill. THANK THE GODS for the invention of the treadmill!! It's a little like being a gerbil on an exercise wheel, but with small children at home, it helps to get the job done. I didn't really get into exercise after Caspian's birth, for months and months, so I feel positive that I'm getting the jump on it this time. Power walking is surprisingly effective. And it's something I feel I MUST do every day. It's easy, just get my sneakers on, hop on the treadmill and get going. But I am ready to start going to yoga classes again too. Eros says he will watch the kids for me while I go to a class...I am so lucky to have such a great man in my life willing to do this.
A happy mama is a happy family = truth.
Writing-wise...things ARE progressing. Since giving birth I have had so many illuminations in regards to my world and novel. New aspects of the biosphere coming to life within my mind and the rambling of characters and personalities in my mind urging to me to tell their stories. Details left and right up and down are becoming revealed to me and it's very exciting. Also I have noticed that a lot of "multidimensional data transfer" comes to me through my son, Caspian. I get ideas for my novel through random things that he says or does. I was hoping for this when I became a parent, I was hoping to be inspired creatively by my children and it is happening. It makes being a parent even more rewarding, to know that my children are helping me in their own way to be a more inspired writer. My children are great teachers...the greatest I've ever had.