Warped.

One thing you have to get used to after you have a baby...is how DIFFERENT your body feels.  It feels like a totally alien body to me.  Way different then I remember before I got pregnant.  It's a pretty dramatic change.  Physically, I don't recognize myself.  Mentally, in some ways, as well.

It's WARPING, when you have a baby.  It just totally warps you.  Like the way my body FEELS...is intense...way more aches, pains and increased body awareness then there used to be.  I get totally freaked out at times by just how my body feels all jumbled up.  And you know what...yoga doesn't seem to help like it used to.  In fact it might even aggravate certain pains.

Of course that's not a reason not to do yoga.  It's just surprising how physically, I feel like there has been a huge change.  A change in how I FEEL, inside...even taking a shit feels WAY different!!!   Peeing feels different.  How I sit.  How I move.

And by default, how I think; how I feel.

I can't possibly do enough kegals to make the inside of my yoni look like it did before, to put it bluntly.  I read somewhere I should do 200 kegals a day, during the post partum period.  But I mean seriously...how does one do 200 kegals a day?  Unless I designate a special "kegal time," it's just not going to happen.  Maybe I should try to do that...I dunno.  You feel pretty banged up after an intense childbirth experience.   It takes time to get used to "the new normal."  (as I've heard multiple people refer to it)

Well, I'm doing kegals right now.  That's the good thing about them, you can do them anytime, anywhere.