Tuesday, November 25, 2014

I'm kind of obsessed with yoga right now.

Movement of the body gives me a lot of freedom.  

I just wish find more support towards that end.  It is sometimes VERY hard to make time to exercise with 2 kids who are both waking up all through the night still.   I basically have to want it bad, and then let nothing stand in my way.   I notice it seems like people think that once you get to a certain age you are supposed to "slow down."   But I want my fittest and most exuberant life to be yet to come.

 My life began with the birth of my children.  Or at least, that's what it feels like.  I don't even know what the fuck I was doing with myself before Caspian was born.  And now Seraphina...I have to wonder how I ever thought having one child was hard.  It can be tricky, when they both need something at once really bad.  You basically have to put on your "magic mom" hat, and make it work.  Do what you gotta do to soothe both at once.  And stay stay stay calm. 

Anyway, Caspian has changed my life, pretty much.   And his sister too.  I am sometimes in awe that I have a daughter still.   It has always been a dream of mine, without me acknowledging it.  I adore my son and fall in love with his cuteness more every day.  But it feels surreal to have a daughter...when I was a little kid I wanted a sister so bad, but never ever got one.  I got four brothers though.  So I guess I feared on some level that I was not meant to have a daughter...but Paetreyl told me...I had been told when I first got pregnant that he himself had a daughter.  Our lives mirror each other in the different worlds...so I knew that if he had one, I probably did too.  I just didn't know if THAT baby was a little girl...

...it was...and I swear I am falling in love with her.  I always wondered how my heart would be able to expand for another child and now it has, full throttle.  I adore Phina and it is making me feel really happy to notice that Caspian is really loving her too.   She's so precious and sooo happy, super intelligent and reasonable.   She can be talked to and truly communicated with, from a very early age.  She allows herself to be soothed.  The only time I've seen her being unhappy is when Caspian and his friends are being very loud and screaming and running around like wild boys.  She is super sensitive to loud noises and very responsive to music.   She loves looking at herself in the mirror. 

I love this little girl.  And feel more blessed every single day when I am with both my children. Our family is growing and it's exciting. 

Going to a Bikram yoga class tonight.  

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