Delicious, scrumptious control.

Sometimes it hits me...I fucking live in Hawaii. 

I'm not sure what to do with this information today.  

Anyway, I've been an emotional wreck the past three days, and on Sunday, I decided to run 5 miles and did it in an hour.   It was the best run I've had in YEARS.   Of course I know other people could run 5 miles faster.  But for 3 months post partum...not so bad.  

So there's that.  

Hard to say what's going on with me.   But I feel so moody lately.   It could be because I've started my moon cycle again and I'm experiencing the usual hormonal ups and downs of a regular female cycle. 

I just feel like throwing myself into things.   I feel wild.   The running is really helping me work out some emotional issues.   It's the feeling like I just want to push myself physically to have a sense of control over my reality.   Running helps me feel in control. Point blank.   Because if I can run, I am conquering myself, and if I do that, then I can conquer the world...

Anyway.  I have a lot on my mind.  Not sure where it's all coming from.   But it makes me feel like working my body to the extreme to take care of it. Oh, endorphins.   Where would I be without you?