I used to know how to blog.
I feel like I'm learning to do a bunch of things all over again lately.
At some point, after Caspian was born, there was a wipe of my psyche or something.
Now I don't know how to do anything I used to know how to do.
I'm not even sure who I am anymore. I know I am MOTHER...I am mama. Mommy. And I like it. But sometimes I wonder who I used to be.
I wonder if I'm the only one who sees parenthood as a psychedelic experience. It's so all-consuming. It's like the ultimate trip or something. A real challenge. You gotta RISE UP, and be the best person you can be. It's crucial. Not for yourself...but for your kids.
For the WORLD.
For HUMANITY ITSELF.
That's what parenthood is to me. It's my opportunity to help make the world a better place. For me, it's a transpersonal journey, the ULTIMATE act of transmutation. Changing the negativity of the world into pure love for the sake of someone else. For the world.
Responding with LOVE is the most important thing when you have a child. Sure we all get frustrated, tired, overwhelmed. But that's the divine test, isn't it? Choosing to slow down, exhale and open yourself to love, even when it's hard. Children ARE the future. We don't know WHAT THE FUCK type of world they are inheriting. It's CRUCIAL that we prepare them with as much love as humanly possible. Just pour it into them, love them so absolutely and completely and wholesomely, that they never doubt that there is some good in the world. Speaking softly and gently to our children, taking the time to understand and empathize. I feel so so much empathy for my toddler, Caspian. I seriously feel for him, in such an intense way, because I know his awareness is new to this planet. He trusts me to tell him about things. He trusts me to h show him that the fabric of everything, and the basis for all existence, is a loving heart, and a loving home.
At the same time, I have to explain to him the way the world functions. Sometimes he is delighted with its mechanics. And sometimes he really does't like the way things are. Just like anyone, of course.
But when I parent my son, I feel like I'm changing the world. I feel like I'm giving humanity a chance. I'm making recycling, composting and gardening part of our regular existence. I think it's important he knows that if he sees trash, anywhere, to pick it up. I think it's important he knows how to treat animals with respect and love. I think it's essential he is outdoors in nature a lot, to always feel connected to the energy of life, and to comprehend humanity's place in it, how we are all connected.