Sunday, July 7, 2013

An ugly wound.

WOW, it is so hurtful when you open up your heart to someone and they just ignore you.   It really fucking sucks when you take a chance and become vulnerable to someone whom you thought you trusted with your heart and turns out it doesn't even fucking matter to them.  The extra shittastic thing is that you know that they are completely under no obligation to respond, that was the stipulation in opening up, becoming vulnerable, you KNEW that there was a chance they could respond in a negative way, or completely not respond at all.  Yet when the person you open up to just completely cuts off all contact afterward and does indeed completely fucking ignore you, despite all the energy you throw at them,'s a special ugly type of sting that is at risk of infection.  This wound feels putrid.  Obligation sucks, that's the worst part.  I don't want anyone to feel obligated to responding to me, I want them to WANT to respond to me.  And if they don't, if they just flat-out ignore me in such a cool, cruel way despite revealing my heart...then something just isn't working.  /Something isn't right.  And if something isn't working, then something else needs to change.  I hate one-sided relationships.  Either it's a team effort, or it's not.   And if it's not, then fuck it.

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