Sunday, August 5, 2012

Getting Streamlined

Balancing everything in my life as a new mom is super difficult.  There's dietary considerations, and fitness considerations, and creative must-work-on-my-novel-or-go-insane considerations, and social connecting considerations, and spiritual awareness considerations.  Basically everything that I used to like to work on for myself. The only difference is that now I have a baby.  I'm just trying to balance everything in my life, to get everything that I want.  I want to be an awesome amazing mom, and the thing is, it's a skill that you seem to hone over time.   You start off pretty good, but there is the potential to be a truly awe-inspiring mother if one keeps working on it, if one keeps working to do the very best that they can, to be the best person they can be.  Let's be honest: the mother holds up the entire family.  Maybe not all mothers.  But a mother who is truly in her element, running on pure intuition and instinct, pretty much supports the whole brood, unless she is not supportive. 

I think I will only get better and better at it.  Every experience I've had thus far has been a teacher.  And believe it or not, being a good mother is fantastic practice for novel-writing.  The two inter-relate in a few very key areas: particularly patience, and persistence.   The thing is, I am studying what it's like to be a mother in detail, at the moment.  I've discovered what it takes to be a good one, or at least, am in the process of discovering.   This information is creative, and can be translated into other activities for a better reading at how to be the best in whatever field one chooses.  I am studying every moment of my day, and every experience I have gets filtered through the "novel-writing lens."  

I am just going to be flowing with it and giving it all up to God.  I think that's the key to doing great at anything: just giving it all up to God.   Like, "whatever," I don't own it, it's not's just coming through me to splat on the page.   You truly start to understand that you are just a vessel.    And I'm learning how there is NEVER EVER a spare moment when you're a mom.  SERIOUSLY.   That's one thing that's dramatically and completely different from when I was childless.   I had LOADS of time to kill.   I was bored all the time.  I wasted loads of time just doing nothing.   Now I'm NEVER bored.   Every moment it seems like I'm doing something for some reason for someone.  It's just busy, busy, busy.   I can only imagine how busy it must be having multiple children.  I only have one.

The point is, this "busy business," has really encouraged my engine to just be ON very frequently...when energy is always flowing, it's easy to get things done.  You just do them, because you don't have time to think about it.   This constant flow goes into all things, and creatively, I'm focusing on writing stories.    But because I am so new at time management to this degree as a mom, I'm having to learn as I go how to STREAMLINE my life, and make it so refined and in sync that everything just HAPPENS.  You get there.  I can feel myself getting there.  All I know is that motherhood is making me BETTER.  I FEEL it.

And I have to be BETTER to write my novel.  I'll be's a clusterfuck.   Dear God.  I am not sure what to do with it anymore.  In fact I am 90% sure I need to start allowing other people to read my work.  Because if I don't get some feedback, I may go insaner. 

Especially because lately, the ideas are just flowing in.  And I seriously don't know what to do with them all.  So I just write down the ideas, so that they don't disappear altogether.  I know I need to get organized.  And that's another thing that being a mom is helpful with.   If you strive for balance, everything gets organized.  But the balance needs to be there, and that's what I'm working on recently.  I want everything to be in sync, in harmony.

I'm a chaotic person.   It's just how I am.  But it doesn't really bother me, to be honest.   Not if I am doing everything I'm supposed to do to make my soul happy.   And when mom's happy, everyone in the family tends to be happy.   That's what I'm getting's important for me to do all the things that make me happy, AND be a badass mother to my precious son.  And if I get that all in sync and in the flow of it all...I'll be psyched.

You just keep flowing, just keep busy.  

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