It's time to unfold, like a flower. Opening, opening, opening.
I have never felt so alive.
I feel a sense of magic throughout each and every day, a profound sense of unreality, like being FAR FAR AWAY from anything. Yet closer to my ~*!*SELF*!*~ then ever before.
Close, so close...to the CENTER OF CREATION.
My pregnancy has challenged me in ways I NEVER could have anticipated. I am beyond thankful, in fact I am in TOTAL REVERENCE. I have gone through this rite of passage, through the shadows, through the change, through the doubt and fear...and emerged into a sense of buoyant joy in the momentum of life, gilded in light, in grace, in power...because: I CAN BE NO OTHER WAY.
Yes, there are discomforts. I am uncomfortable in some way most of the time now. But...but...I am growing so distant from it, at this moment. I feel beyond any suffering at this time. I feel like I am TRANSCENDING who I was and becoming someone who I haven't ever expected! Who am I now, I wonder? Who is this new creature? She feels like she has INFINITE POTENTIAL. I admire her, for all the growth I have witnessed. I'm coming into my beauty, my strength, and potential. Life feels different now. Like the DREAM HAS AWAKENED.
Each day I wake up and I think, "I can't believe this is my life."
Every moment is filled with excitement and acceptance. ACCEPTANCE most of all, is my lesson. Flexibility is my lesson. Balance. KINDNESS. Finding PEACE. Letting GO. Surrendering to the power that is beyond everything; and is everything, all at the same time.
The primordial HEARTBEAT of the universe. That's what I feel. It's staggering.
Sometimes I forget I feel it. Sometimes I neglect to tune in. BUT it's HERE. It's EVERYWHERE. It's like when you take a big dose of mushrooms, and reality itself is THROBBING, pulsating in vibration, and every color is seeping out from every direction. It's EVERY SINGLE SONG in the Universe harmonized together into one eternal note of consensual consciousness; that's the primordial heartbeat. And that's life. I understand now. All of Creation is Vibration. I understand. It's in me. I feel it. I see it. I EXPERIENCE, what IS...the ONE HEARTBEAT...it's here, it's in me. It's in everything. It IS everything. I'm close to it. I feel it.
I don't worry about what my mission in life is anymore. It will unravel in spite of me, that's what I know. All I have to do is get out of the way; and my life explodes with blessings. My mission is what it is; not what I choose. It's not something I control. It's something I magnetize with my energy. I simply dream the dream, and life is the DREAM awakening. It's the holy reflection of the soul.
It's like...WHY NOT? Why not just BE THE VIBRATION? You just BE IT. You let go, get out of your way. You just ACCEPT. You bend your head to the glorious majesty of change, you let it WORK THROUGH YOU. It's not about "doing" anything. It's about surrendering to JOY.
That's what it's about. BECOMING A DIVINE SERVANT. It's not just a bunch of bull. It's an actual lifestyle; a way to conduct your life. It means you just let go. YOU GIVE UP. That's it. And see what happens.